Kombucha that is!
Hello Beautiful friend!
One
of the things I am SUPER excited about in the upcoming changes to the
blog is having sections for different topics I will be blogging about.
One of those sections will be all about Holistic Living, or "Crunchy"
living. * I do not really like that term because a LOT of people think
they live "crunchy" but are very misguided and give those of us who are a
bad rap. I am trying to say that in the nicest way possible. There are
many times my time hop comes up and I just cringe at how uneducated I
was! But, Hey! You live and learn and when you know better, you DO
better.
Anyhow, soon ( thanks to my gorgeous friend Stephanie ) This will be in that section!
Let's chat about Kombucha. What is it? Why do I want to drink it? Should I buy or make it? How do I even go about making it?
What
the heck is it? It is a magical drink that has been used for thousands
of years to heal a number of ailments and restore good gut flora into
your body! Okay, I say magical. But, it really is one of the unicorns of
probiotics! It is a fermented tea and here are a few conditions it has
been known and recorded to help! Acid Reflux, Inflammation, Allergies,
Sinus Pressure, IBS, Constipation, Fogginess, Adrenal Fatigue and the
list goes on. Kombucha is not a CURE for anything, it actually helps
your body to create a more natural balance. Which is pretty awesome!
Most Kombucha drinkers are very loyal and consume it daily. In fact in
our family our Kombucha has taken over the place of soda! It is bubbly
and carbonated and oh SO good!
Here are a few more reasons to consider drinking some Kombucha:
*Contains living bacteria and yeast
*Substituted for sugary sodas or multiple trips to the coffee pot
*Acts as a snack or pre-meal hunger control
*Alkalizes like vinegar or lemon juice – balances internal pH
*Compounds in the drink may bond to and help excrete toxins from the liver – happy liver = happy mood
*May speed metabolism
*The acids present may improve digestion or alleviate constipation
*Improved flexibility & fluidity of movement
*Smooth energy from low levels of tea
*Relieve headaches & migraines
*Antioxidants & polyphenols from the tea are partially fermented and so more bioavailable
*Kills h.pylori on contact
*Certain acids present are considered candida-cides
It
basically is an all natural, healthy soda that helps your body to
balance and function better. I have a friend who came over last week and
tried my Kombucha. The next day she sent me a text and it said ," OMG!
Can I have more Kombucha? Last night was the first night I was able to
sleep with out my sinus being blocked and no runny nose. It was like
having no allergies! I am a believer." Now, your personal results will
vary, but, if it does nothing else but help you to not have soda and all
of it's NASTY, DEADLY, CANCER CAUSING CHEMICALS ( How is that for a
guilt trip?) then hey! Be happy!
Are you freaking out about the word bacteria?
Yes, it is a living bacteria. But, the good bacteria! The kind antibiotics kills in your intestinal tract. The kind your body needs! In fact here is an interesting excerpt from Kombucha Kamp:
"The fact of the matter is that while in the 19th century we were in
dire need of sanitary practices, the negative attitude towards ALL
bacteria has spiraled out of control. Bacteria outnumber our human cells
9 to 1! With all the hand sanitizers and constant antibiotic
prescriptions, we have created a worse problem than we have realized.
The bacterial cells tell our human cells what to do, how to behave, how
to replicate. We NEED bacteria.
When you have an over population of “bad” bacteria – sugar loving
bacteria – they send signals to your brain that you need to consume MORE
sugar so they can reproduce. You may think you have a sweet tooth, but
more likely you have an overgrowth of “bad” bacteria and unhealthy yeast
like Candida. By incorporating “good” bacteria into your body – those
found in ALL fermented foods – foods that humans have been consuming
since they figured out how to use it for preservation (no fridge), you
start to displace that “bad” bacteria. Your body’s pH returns to a more
alkaline state. Your gut moves those sugar bugs out and your cravings
decrease – in fact, you may find that our over-sugared food supply
doesn’t taste good at all. Your body will regain its natural instincts
and ability to “tell” you which foods are most nourishing.
This notion of “good” bacteria also extends to pasteurization..."
Find the entire post about it Here.
If you would like to test your spit for candida overgrowth, click right here.
To read about bacterias and their effects on child behaviors and temperaments click on this.
Now onto the next question....
Should I buy it or make it?
Well,
we used to buy it. But it can be really pricey. It averages out around
$5 a bottle (16 oz). That is like buying a Starbucks coffee every day.
Remember I said Kombucha drinkers are loyal drinkers, so it comes out to
a pricey addiction. But there is hope! You can brew your own and it
comes out to about $2 a batch for our family. We make ours all organic
and I get pretty creative around here with flavors. You can add fruit in
the second ferment ( we will get to that) or you could have a
continuous brew. Or you can do your second ferment without fruit puree
and just throw in a raisin, piece of candied ginger or pineapple.
Whichever works for your taste buds or your schedule. It really is so
simple. Trust me, I researched for hours every night the girls went to
bed and took notes. I pinned recipes and learned how to troubleshoot any
potential problems weeks before I even picked up my SCOBY. ( I will
tell you what that is in a minute.) One very surprising thing we have
learned is home-brewed booch tastes WAYYYY better than store bought. Seriously.
Don't believe me? Well, here is Gemma enjoying a Strawberry Hibiscus Booch!
Let's get started!
Materials Needed:
- SCOBY
-Organic Sugar
-Organic Tea
(Black, Green, White,Hibiscus... whatever your preference is.)
-Large Glass Container
( I bought a big two gallon glass storage container from WalMart for $10. )
-Funnel
(Must be plastic or Stainless )
-White Vinegar
- Non Metal Spoon
- Coffee Filters
-Tea Towel
-Rubber Bands
First
off there are two things you never do while making Kombucha, the first
is you cannot use anything that is metal besides stainless steel. It
will kill all the good organisms in your SCOBY. I chose to use a pyrex
glass pan my hubs bought me at an estate sale, a silicone spoon and a
plastic funnel. Second, do not use soap on anything! Soap residue will
kill your SCOBY. And that is just depressing. If you use soap, rinse
with very hot water and then pour your white vinegar over it as a rinse.
Trust me, the vinegar makes it clean!
( Pictured above are my first two batches of Kombucha.)
Step 1
Sanitize everything with a Vinegar Rinse. Just to make sure nothing has any kind of residue.
Step 2
Boil 4 cups of water, and add 2 cups of organic sugar, stir to dissolve.
*We have a beautiful reverse osmosis filter. You must use filtered water.
Step 3
Add your tea! You can brew loose leaf or use bags. This is my recipe
for a 2 gallon brew. But, you can tweak according to your taste. If I
use bags I steep 10 bags. Loose leaf I brew 1/4 cup and strain after 20
min.
Step 4
Pour sweet tea into your glass container and add cold water till you are about 4 inches from the top.
Let
this sit out for at least 5 hours till it is room temperature. You
cannot add your SCOBY to tea that is too hot or cold, you will kill it.
Step 5
Add
your SCOBY! To do this you must have a SCOBY and some reserve/ starter
liquid from the Kombucha it came from. This is usually around 1 1/2
cups- 2 1/2 cups. It should be in a plastic bag, or anything with no
BPAs and not metal. Rinse your hands with the vinegar, pick up your
SCOBY and plop it in! Pour in the reserve/ starter liquid. Your SCOBY
may float, sink, look suspended... it has a mind of its own. It is
pretty cool to look at!
Step 6
Cover the top of
your container with a coffee filter, then a tight weaved kitchen towel
and rubber band it! I also use those wrist stretchy bracelet things you
put keys on ( Do they even have a proper name!?!) or a shoelace that has
a toggle. You just need to make sure nothing can get in your brew, and
that your brew can breathe and ferment. Place it away from sunlight and
direct heat. I keep mine on the kitchen counter where the sun don't
shine. (haha! Corny, I know) The best temperature for brewing kombucha
is 69-85 degrees.
Now
you wait! Fermentation depends on the temperature. Some times a batch
will be two weeks or just a few days. Wait a few days, then taste it! I
use a plastic straw and push down the SCOBY and taste. The more
fermented, the healthier. So the more vinegary (think apple cider
vinegar) the better. Your SCOBY lives off of the sugar in your tea. So
there will be little to no sugar in your end result.
Now I know you are dying to know
what a dang SCOBY is! SCOBY is an acronym that is short for Symbiotic
Colony of Bacteria and Yeast. It is all that good bacteria that makes
your body happy happy happy! It is alive and cannot be refrigerated.
Every batch you brew makes a baby SCOBY and soon you shall be giving
them away! Or putting them in a SCOBY Hotel, like this :
Where
can you get one? Well, I have plenty to give you! If you are local to
me, that is. I can also ship one to you too! I bought one off of Amazon
for $5 and it took weeks to make another. The great news is Facebook has
groups filled with people who will gladly share their SCOBYs with you!
Once
you have your Kombucha at your preferred taste, you have two options.
You can make it a continuous brew or bottle for a second fermentation to
make it extra fizzy and carbonated.
A continuous brew
you just add more sugar tea and drink straight from the brew. Most who
use the CB process use a crock with a stainless spout and pour it like
you would water, drinking it room temp or over ice.
The
color difference between Black Tea based continuous brew (on the
left), and black tea based Booch with dried pineapple ready for second
fermentation.
Now for your second ferment you can
add chunks of fruit, dried fruit ( we use crystallized ginger and
pineapple) or fruit puree. Fermenting with the fruit gives your kombucha
that much desired fizz.
Now, let me say this: I use flip
top bottles I bought on clearance from Hobby Lobby. Some people use
Grolsch Beer Bottles, Wine bottles with corks.... whatever your heart
desires. No matter what container you prefer, that container can always fail. Be smart. Cover your bottles.
Bottles
have exploded with no warning and it makes a huge mess. HUGE! A woman
even had shards of glass in her arm on a Facebook Kombucha group I am
in.
I
put mine in a bag and in a storage container with a lid away from
sunlight. Burp your bottles occasionally and when it is at the fizz you
like refrigerate.
I know it is a LOT to take in. But, once you make your first batch... you will be HOOKED!
I
will be writing another post in a couple days with some troubleshooting
questions and answers. But, please if you have any questions or
concerns please comment, email, message me them to include in my post!
Till next time...
Tanti Baci Bella!
<3 Marialisa
XoXo
Friday, June 12, 2015
Thursday, June 4, 2015
A New Dawn...
Hello Friend!
I know it has been a long time since I have posted. Okay, a REALLY LONG TIME. Like, two years. I am really sorry. In fact I thought about just deleting this blog many times, but, I couldn't. I wanted to come and post so many posts, recipes, updates and stories... I felt shameful. The reality of this blog situation is this:
After my last post I was way too busy being a mommy to Gia and Gemma. I kept putting off blogging and just wrote my posts down in a notebook and never turned on the dinosaur of a computer to write a post. It took hours! Luckily now we have a laptop and it will work for this purpose!
Now, let me tell you why I have decided to come back to the world of blogging. A LOT has happened since that last post. I know it left you anticipating my series. I know you were disappointed. I am truly sorry for being the lamest blogger ever. Please forgive me!
A couple months after the last post our family found out we were expecting our third child. Mateo and I were over the moon! We believe every child is a blessing (especially after trying for two years to get pregnant and having fertility issues before we conceived Gia) and this child was no exception!
I had a ROUGH first trimester this time around! Morning sickness triggered my vertigo (from a previous car accident) and I spent MANY hours crying and puking sitting in a cold shower. My husband was so very supportive and sweet during this time. I lost 15lbs and was the smallest I had ever been in any of my pregnancies.
Thankfully, the sickness passed and we had a beautiful gender reveal party and found out we were having another girl! I was beyond excited! My husband chose her name and i chose her middle name. I could not decide between the two names I adored and then I prayed and sought the Lord's council. That night I had a vivid dream that I was standing in our backyard looking out at the horizon. The suns rays were just beginning to peak as a new day was dawning. i looked down and in my arms was a bundle wrapped in a plush pure white blanket, a perfect baby. The suns rays shined on her beautiful face and then I noticed that there were wildflowers all around me. The sunlight hit the flowers just perfectly that the morning dew made everything around shine. The air turned a glittery gold and I looked down at my sweet baby and woke up. I went to the description of the two names I was considering and realized that when I combined the two it meant " a bright pure light shining off of the dew of the flowers." What a divine moment! There was no doubt that her name was chosen by God.
I spent the next few months preparing for my VBAC homebirth. I exercised regularly and was addicted to researching and educating myself on birth and the birth culture. I prayed and believed for a supernatural labor. I had NO DOUBT whatsoever that God was going to provide me with all I prayed and asked for. I had MANY people who were against my decision and who did not understand that I tried to have a medical VBAC but was literally shunned by my doctors and insurance for "wanting to be different". I literally had one OB tell me , " I make $500 if you push that baby out and $50000 if I do a repeat Csection. What do YOU think I am going to pick!?". I had so much sadness that I was not educated on natural birth and a woman's ability to birth before I had my first child. I had NO REAL REASON to not birth at home. I felt a supernatural peace about it and was so excited to finally be able to not have a birth rape.
On July 29th 2014 at 8am I was stepping out of the shower at 41weeks 5 days of pregnancy when my three year old daughter Gia came bursting through the door and proclaimed ," MOM! Call Nonna!" I looked at her and asked ," what for, baby?" and continued to dry myself off. "Because baby Giada needs a birthday cake today!" I looked at her puzzled and then all of a sudden I felt the gush of my water breaking. I was in labor. My handsome husband filled up the birth pool and I turned on my worship music. It was time. I had the most AMAZING, PAIN FREE labor you can imagine. the entire time I had my heart turned to God and I sang in worship. I felt God's presence with me the entire time. With every contraction I felt my muscles tighten but it did not hurt. It was like a workout. Mateo recorded so many videos, we worshipped, we were amazed at how faithful God was to our prayers. That He met us there, in our room and gave me the labor I so desperately longed for.
I felt my hips open with one contraction and bam! Her head engaged and my body started pushing on its own. I looked at Mat and said , " Here we go! get ready to meet our baby!" I pushed one big push and felt her crown. Then I felt the tear. A searing pain at my cesarean scar. I knew from my research that this was bad. I tried to push again but, I couldn't. My uterus had torn and could not work properly. ( I want to take this time to say that the midwife we had hired had not shown up yet) I told my husband to call an ambulance. Within minutes we were at the hospital and in labor and delivery. The nurse was a cruel woman who said to me , " what were you thinking!?! The last woman who tried to homebirth's baby DIED! SO SELFISH!" I calmly looked at her and said, " I am not an idiot. And I rebuke you in Jesus name. Get my baby out and put me in surgery. " She found the heartbeat of the baby and my heart beat when the ob walked in. the mean nurse threw open my legs and shouted , "OMG! The baby is right there! " The OB walked in and said, " I don't care. Hospital policy is no VBAC. Get her in the OR". I was writhing in pain. I was on the operating table and I felt the baby start to kick. i knew that meant she was in distress. I looked at the doctor and pleaded with her to just suction my baby out, then fix me.
Instead, she held my legs down and yelled, "No! where is the anesthesiologist!? i need to cut now!"
he showed up still chewing whatever he was eating. I looked at him and begged him to hurry. I knew my baby was in distress and I knew that everything was going so horribly wrong. And then all I saw was black.
I woke up and saw the nurse. I asked her where my husband was. "He is coming." was all she said. I asked her where my baby was and when i could see her. She looked at me and said, " How are you feeling?" "Fine. Where is my baby?" I asked again. "Lets wait for the doctor. I will go get your husband". The doctor then walked right to the desk area in front of my bed and sat down, writing down whatever it was in a chart. I begged her to answer my questions and she ignored me the first few times until I was practically yelling at her for some answers. She turned to me and said, "Lets wait for your husband." I knew something was off. I was extremely confused and afraid. Just then my husband and my best friend walked in. My husband came to my bedside and Rachel grabbed my hand. The look on my husbands face was pure devastation. I looked up into the eyes of the man I love and said one word, "Giada?" And with a shake of his head my heart shattered into a million pieces. I looked at Rachel and she squeezed my hand and whispered, " she didn't make it." The pain that I felt in that moment is indescribable. It was so real, so raw that my mind cannot even fathom now what exactly it was that happened. I remember screaming, " I am a horrible mother! OH! NO NO NO NO!! MY BABY!!!! NOT MY BABY!" Then I was injected with a sedative. And everything goes fuzzy, except for one thing. My husbands face. I remember the exact look of his face, the sorrow in his eyes and the way he could feel the exact same emptiness I did.
I want you to understand the pain and anguish my husband experienced. While I was in surgery for I think, 3 hours or so code blue was called. My entire family including my husband all thought I had died. The waiting room was hysterical chaos. My family has told me that my husband hit the floor crying, praying to God to spare my life. He sobbed and pleaded with his Lord to let me live. He told God that he could not survive without me. Our children would not, they needed their mother. His heart broke and he physically could not get up. Around an hour later he found out that I had lost over a gallon of blood, had 6 blood transfusions (add one more later that night) and had to have a complete uterine reconstruction. He found out that I was still alive from a doctor who was furiously trying to convince him to have a vasectomy because he "had the perfect Disneyland family already" and was worn out and emotionally exhausted. When the doctor told him our daughter had not lived my husband told her that I was going to be devastated, that I would not survive that. He told the doctor that was trying to resuscitate our baby to plead the blood of Jesus over her. I am so proud of him and the faith he showed in that moment.
The next thing I remember is being in a hospital room and a nurse bringing me my precious baby.
Giada Lucetta Fiorenza Martinico weighed in at 9lbs 9oz, 21 1/2 inches long and she her beautiful face was perfection. She is the perfect blend of her sisters. She has Gia's cheeks, my mouth, eyes and Gemma's nose.
She was dressed in my favorite outfit I had purchased for her. I bought it in every size I could find because it had a cat in a gondola dressed like an Italian and said "Ciao Bella!" all over it. She was lovingly wrapped in a blanket I had made especially for her with her name all over it in different shades of purple. Everything about her was so perfect, ten fingers and toes a whole healthy looking baby. But, she was lifeless. I stared at her in wonder and my heart begged for her to open her eyes, to take a breath. But, no matter how much my heart begged she never woke up. She never opened those beautiful eyes to look into the face of her mommy. Instead my angel baby opened her eyes in heaven and saw the face of Jesus.
I have NO DOUBT whatsoever that our daughter is in heaven. I have had "God kisses" which are moments when the Lord sends small glimpses and signs to let me know that He is with me. That He is always faithful and most of all that He is love. A few weeks after that horrible day when my life was turned upside down I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes. My mind was spinning with thoughts of planning Giada's memorial and I just closed my eyes and let out a sob. tears were flowing down my cheeks and my heart was squeezing in my chest. When all of a sudden I felt this warmth and in my minds eye I saw my hand. I knew it was my hand because the hand wore my wedding ring. And a small childs hand grabbed my hand and squeezed tight. I heard a small voice whisper, " I am so proud of you Mommy." I opened my eyes and looked out the kitchen window. This peace came over me because I knew that God had allowed my daughter to comfort me. To show me that I was doing everything okay. That every tear, every emotion I cried and felt made her proud to be in heaven and look down at me trying to survive life without her in it.
Surviving is what I am trying to accomplish. The journey of grief is not pretty, it is raw, real, ugly, healing and at times it is beautiful. One of the most beautiful moments for us were / and still is the times of having friends, family, even strangers show us support and that we are thought of and loved. Our family received so many beautiful cards (which we tucked away in Giada's memory box with love) so many messages, phone calls, gifts ( both financial and physical) and prayers. To know that so many people were praying and thinking of our family was beyond amazing to us. It was difficult to send out thank you's and remember too. But, each one touched our lives in ways you cannot imagine. We are so grateful to see the compassion of Christ in others. Here is one of my favorite gifts, I see this before I sleep each night and every morning when my eyes open:
This portrait of our sweet Giada in the arms of Jesus brings my heart peace and so much comfort.
I know this has been a very emotional and honestly raw post. It has taken me two days of tears to write this. But, I want you to know and understand that my blog will be taking a different turn. it is going to be about my journey. I have poured myself out into my family trying to comfort and meet their needs in every and any way I can. Before Giada passed I was sure that I knew who I was, what I believed about being a Christian and considered myself to be a okay. Well, let me tell you... nothing tests your faith like tragedy. I have learned so many life lessons these last ten months that I could probably write a book... or four! Instead I have written them down in a journal, posted some on Facebook and now I will be blogging them. Along with posts about my journey of self discovery.
Some people know that I questioned our daughters death from the moment they took her to the morgue. I had spent all of those hours researching and studying, prepare myself for her birth. And a lot of things did not add up. Well, I took my questions to the doctor and confronted her with my suspicions. Unfortunately, she confirmed my suspicions and confessed that our daughter passed away because of medical negligence. Our worst fears were confirmed. Our daughter was murdered. It was in that moment that Mateo and I decided to forgive the medical staff and move on to pick up the pieces of our life. Many people do not understand our reasoning of not wanting retaliation or "justice" and that is okay. We have and still feel that a trial is like a wound that is never allowed to heal. the scab is ripped off constantly and every part of your life comes under scrutiny. We have nothing to hide, but, we love one another and our family more than the price of possibly breaking up our family for worldly justice. We chose to forgive and trust In God's plan and in His word; " Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the LORD." Rom 12:19
In the face of adversity we have clung to our Faith and our knowledge of God's character. Every day is a struggle to chose to believe in His sovereignty . I lost who I once was and am now discovering who I am called to be, who I really am, what I really value and what truly makes me happy. Yes, cooking still makes me happy! But, so do my children and seeing life through their eyes. Little things make me happy. Having a perfectly clean house and children who wish I spent more quality time with them doesn't. I would rather have dishes in the sink, muddy boots and filthy children who feel loved, appreciated and wanted. Having a happy family based on faith, love and hope is the legacy Giada leaves to our world. And that is what I am going to blog about. My crazy, messy, delicious, love filled, big fat Italian life!
I hope you stick around!
Tanti Baci,
<3 Marialisa
XoXo
I know it has been a long time since I have posted. Okay, a REALLY LONG TIME. Like, two years. I am really sorry. In fact I thought about just deleting this blog many times, but, I couldn't. I wanted to come and post so many posts, recipes, updates and stories... I felt shameful. The reality of this blog situation is this:
After my last post I was way too busy being a mommy to Gia and Gemma. I kept putting off blogging and just wrote my posts down in a notebook and never turned on the dinosaur of a computer to write a post. It took hours! Luckily now we have a laptop and it will work for this purpose!
Now, let me tell you why I have decided to come back to the world of blogging. A LOT has happened since that last post. I know it left you anticipating my series. I know you were disappointed. I am truly sorry for being the lamest blogger ever. Please forgive me!
A couple months after the last post our family found out we were expecting our third child. Mateo and I were over the moon! We believe every child is a blessing (especially after trying for two years to get pregnant and having fertility issues before we conceived Gia) and this child was no exception!
I had a ROUGH first trimester this time around! Morning sickness triggered my vertigo (from a previous car accident) and I spent MANY hours crying and puking sitting in a cold shower. My husband was so very supportive and sweet during this time. I lost 15lbs and was the smallest I had ever been in any of my pregnancies.
Thankfully, the sickness passed and we had a beautiful gender reveal party and found out we were having another girl! I was beyond excited! My husband chose her name and i chose her middle name. I could not decide between the two names I adored and then I prayed and sought the Lord's council. That night I had a vivid dream that I was standing in our backyard looking out at the horizon. The suns rays were just beginning to peak as a new day was dawning. i looked down and in my arms was a bundle wrapped in a plush pure white blanket, a perfect baby. The suns rays shined on her beautiful face and then I noticed that there were wildflowers all around me. The sunlight hit the flowers just perfectly that the morning dew made everything around shine. The air turned a glittery gold and I looked down at my sweet baby and woke up. I went to the description of the two names I was considering and realized that when I combined the two it meant " a bright pure light shining off of the dew of the flowers." What a divine moment! There was no doubt that her name was chosen by God.
I spent the next few months preparing for my VBAC homebirth. I exercised regularly and was addicted to researching and educating myself on birth and the birth culture. I prayed and believed for a supernatural labor. I had NO DOUBT whatsoever that God was going to provide me with all I prayed and asked for. I had MANY people who were against my decision and who did not understand that I tried to have a medical VBAC but was literally shunned by my doctors and insurance for "wanting to be different". I literally had one OB tell me , " I make $500 if you push that baby out and $50000 if I do a repeat Csection. What do YOU think I am going to pick!?". I had so much sadness that I was not educated on natural birth and a woman's ability to birth before I had my first child. I had NO REAL REASON to not birth at home. I felt a supernatural peace about it and was so excited to finally be able to not have a birth rape.
On July 29th 2014 at 8am I was stepping out of the shower at 41weeks 5 days of pregnancy when my three year old daughter Gia came bursting through the door and proclaimed ," MOM! Call Nonna!" I looked at her and asked ," what for, baby?" and continued to dry myself off. "Because baby Giada needs a birthday cake today!" I looked at her puzzled and then all of a sudden I felt the gush of my water breaking. I was in labor. My handsome husband filled up the birth pool and I turned on my worship music. It was time. I had the most AMAZING, PAIN FREE labor you can imagine. the entire time I had my heart turned to God and I sang in worship. I felt God's presence with me the entire time. With every contraction I felt my muscles tighten but it did not hurt. It was like a workout. Mateo recorded so many videos, we worshipped, we were amazed at how faithful God was to our prayers. That He met us there, in our room and gave me the labor I so desperately longed for.
I felt my hips open with one contraction and bam! Her head engaged and my body started pushing on its own. I looked at Mat and said , " Here we go! get ready to meet our baby!" I pushed one big push and felt her crown. Then I felt the tear. A searing pain at my cesarean scar. I knew from my research that this was bad. I tried to push again but, I couldn't. My uterus had torn and could not work properly. ( I want to take this time to say that the midwife we had hired had not shown up yet) I told my husband to call an ambulance. Within minutes we were at the hospital and in labor and delivery. The nurse was a cruel woman who said to me , " what were you thinking!?! The last woman who tried to homebirth's baby DIED! SO SELFISH!" I calmly looked at her and said, " I am not an idiot. And I rebuke you in Jesus name. Get my baby out and put me in surgery. " She found the heartbeat of the baby and my heart beat when the ob walked in. the mean nurse threw open my legs and shouted , "OMG! The baby is right there! " The OB walked in and said, " I don't care. Hospital policy is no VBAC. Get her in the OR". I was writhing in pain. I was on the operating table and I felt the baby start to kick. i knew that meant she was in distress. I looked at the doctor and pleaded with her to just suction my baby out, then fix me.
Instead, she held my legs down and yelled, "No! where is the anesthesiologist!? i need to cut now!"
he showed up still chewing whatever he was eating. I looked at him and begged him to hurry. I knew my baby was in distress and I knew that everything was going so horribly wrong. And then all I saw was black.
I woke up and saw the nurse. I asked her where my husband was. "He is coming." was all she said. I asked her where my baby was and when i could see her. She looked at me and said, " How are you feeling?" "Fine. Where is my baby?" I asked again. "Lets wait for the doctor. I will go get your husband". The doctor then walked right to the desk area in front of my bed and sat down, writing down whatever it was in a chart. I begged her to answer my questions and she ignored me the first few times until I was practically yelling at her for some answers. She turned to me and said, "Lets wait for your husband." I knew something was off. I was extremely confused and afraid. Just then my husband and my best friend walked in. My husband came to my bedside and Rachel grabbed my hand. The look on my husbands face was pure devastation. I looked up into the eyes of the man I love and said one word, "Giada?" And with a shake of his head my heart shattered into a million pieces. I looked at Rachel and she squeezed my hand and whispered, " she didn't make it." The pain that I felt in that moment is indescribable. It was so real, so raw that my mind cannot even fathom now what exactly it was that happened. I remember screaming, " I am a horrible mother! OH! NO NO NO NO!! MY BABY!!!! NOT MY BABY!" Then I was injected with a sedative. And everything goes fuzzy, except for one thing. My husbands face. I remember the exact look of his face, the sorrow in his eyes and the way he could feel the exact same emptiness I did.
I want you to understand the pain and anguish my husband experienced. While I was in surgery for I think, 3 hours or so code blue was called. My entire family including my husband all thought I had died. The waiting room was hysterical chaos. My family has told me that my husband hit the floor crying, praying to God to spare my life. He sobbed and pleaded with his Lord to let me live. He told God that he could not survive without me. Our children would not, they needed their mother. His heart broke and he physically could not get up. Around an hour later he found out that I had lost over a gallon of blood, had 6 blood transfusions (add one more later that night) and had to have a complete uterine reconstruction. He found out that I was still alive from a doctor who was furiously trying to convince him to have a vasectomy because he "had the perfect Disneyland family already" and was worn out and emotionally exhausted. When the doctor told him our daughter had not lived my husband told her that I was going to be devastated, that I would not survive that. He told the doctor that was trying to resuscitate our baby to plead the blood of Jesus over her. I am so proud of him and the faith he showed in that moment.
The next thing I remember is being in a hospital room and a nurse bringing me my precious baby.
Giada Lucetta Fiorenza Martinico weighed in at 9lbs 9oz, 21 1/2 inches long and she her beautiful face was perfection. She is the perfect blend of her sisters. She has Gia's cheeks, my mouth, eyes and Gemma's nose.
She was dressed in my favorite outfit I had purchased for her. I bought it in every size I could find because it had a cat in a gondola dressed like an Italian and said "Ciao Bella!" all over it. She was lovingly wrapped in a blanket I had made especially for her with her name all over it in different shades of purple. Everything about her was so perfect, ten fingers and toes a whole healthy looking baby. But, she was lifeless. I stared at her in wonder and my heart begged for her to open her eyes, to take a breath. But, no matter how much my heart begged she never woke up. She never opened those beautiful eyes to look into the face of her mommy. Instead my angel baby opened her eyes in heaven and saw the face of Jesus.
I have NO DOUBT whatsoever that our daughter is in heaven. I have had "God kisses" which are moments when the Lord sends small glimpses and signs to let me know that He is with me. That He is always faithful and most of all that He is love. A few weeks after that horrible day when my life was turned upside down I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes. My mind was spinning with thoughts of planning Giada's memorial and I just closed my eyes and let out a sob. tears were flowing down my cheeks and my heart was squeezing in my chest. When all of a sudden I felt this warmth and in my minds eye I saw my hand. I knew it was my hand because the hand wore my wedding ring. And a small childs hand grabbed my hand and squeezed tight. I heard a small voice whisper, " I am so proud of you Mommy." I opened my eyes and looked out the kitchen window. This peace came over me because I knew that God had allowed my daughter to comfort me. To show me that I was doing everything okay. That every tear, every emotion I cried and felt made her proud to be in heaven and look down at me trying to survive life without her in it.
Surviving is what I am trying to accomplish. The journey of grief is not pretty, it is raw, real, ugly, healing and at times it is beautiful. One of the most beautiful moments for us were / and still is the times of having friends, family, even strangers show us support and that we are thought of and loved. Our family received so many beautiful cards (which we tucked away in Giada's memory box with love) so many messages, phone calls, gifts ( both financial and physical) and prayers. To know that so many people were praying and thinking of our family was beyond amazing to us. It was difficult to send out thank you's and remember too. But, each one touched our lives in ways you cannot imagine. We are so grateful to see the compassion of Christ in others. Here is one of my favorite gifts, I see this before I sleep each night and every morning when my eyes open:
This portrait of our sweet Giada in the arms of Jesus brings my heart peace and so much comfort.
I know this has been a very emotional and honestly raw post. It has taken me two days of tears to write this. But, I want you to know and understand that my blog will be taking a different turn. it is going to be about my journey. I have poured myself out into my family trying to comfort and meet their needs in every and any way I can. Before Giada passed I was sure that I knew who I was, what I believed about being a Christian and considered myself to be a okay. Well, let me tell you... nothing tests your faith like tragedy. I have learned so many life lessons these last ten months that I could probably write a book... or four! Instead I have written them down in a journal, posted some on Facebook and now I will be blogging them. Along with posts about my journey of self discovery.
Some people know that I questioned our daughters death from the moment they took her to the morgue. I had spent all of those hours researching and studying, prepare myself for her birth. And a lot of things did not add up. Well, I took my questions to the doctor and confronted her with my suspicions. Unfortunately, she confirmed my suspicions and confessed that our daughter passed away because of medical negligence. Our worst fears were confirmed. Our daughter was murdered. It was in that moment that Mateo and I decided to forgive the medical staff and move on to pick up the pieces of our life. Many people do not understand our reasoning of not wanting retaliation or "justice" and that is okay. We have and still feel that a trial is like a wound that is never allowed to heal. the scab is ripped off constantly and every part of your life comes under scrutiny. We have nothing to hide, but, we love one another and our family more than the price of possibly breaking up our family for worldly justice. We chose to forgive and trust In God's plan and in His word; " Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the LORD." Rom 12:19
In the face of adversity we have clung to our Faith and our knowledge of God's character. Every day is a struggle to chose to believe in His sovereignty . I lost who I once was and am now discovering who I am called to be, who I really am, what I really value and what truly makes me happy. Yes, cooking still makes me happy! But, so do my children and seeing life through their eyes. Little things make me happy. Having a perfectly clean house and children who wish I spent more quality time with them doesn't. I would rather have dishes in the sink, muddy boots and filthy children who feel loved, appreciated and wanted. Having a happy family based on faith, love and hope is the legacy Giada leaves to our world. And that is what I am going to blog about. My crazy, messy, delicious, love filled, big fat Italian life!
I hope you stick around!
Tanti Baci,
<3 Marialisa
XoXo
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Post # 2 in the "Back to Basics" series....
Hello Friend!
Sorry I did not post yesterday, I didn't want to overwhelm my friends with too many posts. That being said, I bet you are wondering what I have been cookin' up for you.
Well, I would not be a good Italian girl if I did not teach you how to make pasta sauce. Now, would I?
Tonight (sorry, have to blog while the G's are asleep) I will teach you a simple "Fresco Marinara" . That means it has fresh ingredients . I had a good amount of tomatoes I needed to use up and personally I like the feel of a chunky sauce and not just a smooth Marinara.
*Disclaimer*
I just KNOW some of my family members are going to criticize me, but, EVERY ITALIAN makes THE BEST sauce....blah blah.... whatever. I personally feel my Nonna's sauce came from Jesus himself, but, hey! To each their own, right?
That being said... My sauce ROCKS ,Baby!
(can you tell that I have been hearing everyone's opinion?)
Let's get started...
The Ingredients:
8 Fresh Tomatoes
2 Large Cans of Crushed Tomato
8 Cloves of Garlic
1 Large Onion
Fresh Parsley
Fresh Basil
Oregano
Dried Bay Leaves
Salt & Pepper
Whatever Veggies you want to sneak in
( I used some pretty yellow, orange and red peppers)
Step 1: Chop the onion, tomatoes, and bell pepper into a small dice. Mince the garlic.
I loved the colors!
In a large pot add a good drizzle of olive oil and heat on med-high . Once the oil is hot, add the onion and bell pepper.
Cook the onion and pepper until they are translucent and have bits of carmelization (sp)
Like this:
Add the garlic and cook for a minute, (just enough to let the raw taste come out of the garlic)
Add the diced Tomato, Salt, Pepper and Stir, then put the lid on the pot.
Meanwhile:
Open your Canned Tomatoes and place your Fresh Herbs in a blender (you can skip this part and just mince your herbs if you like. I just prefer mine to have a smooth texture)
Add one can of Tomato to the blender and blend.
Add the mixture to the pot.
Add your other can of Tomato to the pot ,too!
Next is Oregano. I am lucky enough that my Godmother, Zia Emma, gave me some oregano that she grew and dried herself. It is beautiful and smells amazing!
I would say that is a heaping tablespoon.
Next is two Bay Leaves.
Some people get freaked out by bay leaves and insist on removing them from the sauce. Personally, I made a little game of it and whichever person gets the "lucky leaf" in their pasta gets a special treat. In this case, it was Gia and she got a jelly bean.
Looking Good!!
Cover, and turn your heat down to a simmer while you cook the pasta.
Now, I used Ditalini today. Its super easy for my girls to eat and it is perfect for little fingers.
My Nonno and Nonna ordered a huge bag of it at the Ristorante' and gave me some in
what we call, "Italian Tupperware" . Before she died, my Bis-Nonna Eleonora had cupboards FULL
of ricotta containers. And yes, I do wash and re-use them... it's in my blood!! It's a Nanci thing.
Cook your pasta in heavily salted water. You want to make sure you use a man size pinch and not lady sized. Pasta needs salty water.
Drain your pasta, add it back to the pan and add a little sauce ( so your pasta will not stick).
Serve it up with more sauce on top!
( that is the way my Mom and Nonna do it. Now, so do I)
Look at that pasta!!
Cannot forget the formaggio !
Now to take it to my testers....
First up... Gia!
Look at my big girl! Using a fork!
Just Kidding! She is over the fork!
Those eyes!!
Love my Gia girl.
There is that personality!
And now my Gemma...
So happy for food, even when she doesn't feel so good.
Gah! Those cheeks!
She was shoveling that pasta in!
Like usual, Gia gives Gem her leftovers....
She is fine with that!
Enjoy!
Tanti Baci Bella!
<3 Marialisa
Monday, April 15, 2013
Save Money! Bake Bread!
*WARNING- Picture Heavy Post*
This is my first post in my new "Back to Basics" series and I am starting it with one of my family's favorite things- Bread.
The average family of four spends $450 a year on sandwich bread. That is a nice chunk of change. The average loaf of sliced bread is $2.69. My recipe makes TWO loaves at less than $1. I like to think that every penny counts and I am saving some pennies making my own bread. Not only is it cheaper to bake your own, it is SO much tastier!!!
Now I know that baking bread can be really intimidating . It seems time consuming and tricky. It totally isn't. I started this batch at 5:00pm and Daddy O' was taking a piping hot bite at 6:20 (that includes rising time!)
So put on your super cute apron, and lets bake some bread!
First in a large bowl we combine the warm water, sugar and yeast.
Let it sit for 10 minutes until it is bubbly and frothy, like this:
Meanwhile, I measure my flour and add the salt to the flour.
( I use Pink Sea Salt, because I am a salt connoisseur)
The next step is to add the 1/3 cup of oil to your liquids. Then, you stir in your flour 2 cups at a time.
There comes a time when a spoon it just not cutting it. Thankfully God gave us the perfect kitchen utensil!
(Remember to take off your wedding ring! Oopsie!Sorry, Daddy O'.)
Once the flour is incorporated, knead the dough for a 3-5 minutes.
Next, you cover it with plastic wrap.
Let the dough sit for half an hour, or till it doubles in size....
Like this gorgeous looking dough:
Butter your loaf pans
Now cut the dough in half and place it in the buttered loaf pans.
*If you do not want to use butter, feel free to use cooking spray. I personally like butter because it has no chemicals*
Love on your kitchen helper who is currently taking every bowl you own out of the cabinet
Cover with a damp kitchen towel .
Let the loaves rise till they are about 2-3 inches above the pan (about 20 minutes)
Place your bread in a 350* preheated oven for 25 minutes.
25 Minutes later: Your house smells heavenly. And this comes out of the oven
Now, this is what makes MY bread special. Right after I pull it from the oven I brush the top with melted butter and sprinkle it with sea salt
( Coarse Sicilian )
Seriously? Look at the top of this bread!!
Divine!!!!
Of course Daddy O' just HAD to have a steaming hot piece.... or three!
See?? Isn't that super detailed and easy!?!
I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
Tanti Baci Bella!
<3 Marialisa
Here is the recipe:
Marialisa's Easy White Bread
3cups warm water
1 1/2 tablespoons of yeast
1/3 cup of sugar
7 cups of All Purpose Flour
1 tablespoon of salt
1/3 cup of vegetable oil
Butter for loaf pans and melted butter for top
Coarse Sea Salt (for sprinkling)
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